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BLOG: 6 Ways Jason Roy Builds a Strong Family

By May 18, 2015Blog

Find Out Why the Building 429 Lead Singer is Trashing Technology
by Jason Roy

Today we are busy, busier than we’ve ever been. There seems to be more money flowing in our economies than ever before, as well; but why then is there such a massive national debt? Why is it that the more we work, the busier we are, the more bankrupt we feel? The American Dream is not what it once was. The American Dream is rooted in the Declaration of Independence, which proclaims, “all men are created equal” with the right to “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Why then do we feel equal until someone else is perceived to have a higher level of success, more money, more fame, a bigger house or a better car? 

Business doesn’t wait until the morning any more. Business is done on a smartphone at the dinner table with a wife and kids who are also staring at their smartphones at the same table. How many times have we walked past a restaurant window to see a couple obviously on a date but staring at a screen instead of engaging in conversation? How many fathers have walked in the door of their homes to find a wife overwhelmed and children desperate for attention, only to be too tired to give them what they desperately need? The children, disheartened, return to their gadgets; and the mom, exhausted, checks out for the night to watch a TV show alone.

Ladies and gentlemen, technology, which has promised to bring us closer together and make us more prosperous, has turned against us and caused us to feel more and more alone. We’ve become spectators in our own lives. How then do we return to what makes us happy? Human interaction counteracts our fears of loneliness and our fear of being less than enough.

The Word of God gives us insight into what love looks like, and in my opinion, what building our families should look like:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. (1 Cor. 13:1-11)

The last part is very interesting, “When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” That could easily read, “When I became a man, I gave up my selfish ways.” As I’ve said many times before to friends who were struggling with this issue, when you get married and have children, your legacy can’t be about your dreams anymore; it has to be about your wife, your children and the family unit’s dreams and ambitions. You’ve given up the right to selfishly pursue your dreams and have been blessed to enter a covenant that says, “to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” That covenant doesn’t say, “If things go well, or if it’s easy.” In fact, it’s GONNA BE HARD. I pray though that our focus on commitment would by far outweigh our focus on temporary prosperity. 

As Building 429 has grown in prominence, I have come to a startling conclusion myself. I don’t dream of playing 200 shows a year around the world anymore. Instead, now I dream of being at home with my wife and children. I dream of cookouts, ballgames, church on Sunday and, yes, homemade ice cream on a summer day! The hope is that we all will recognize this before it’s too late. I’m not saying that you can’t be a billionaire father who works unbelievably hard and has a healthy family or that you have to be paycheck-to-paycheck to be able to build your family. I’m just saying that anything that separates us from our family needs to be consumed in moderation.

Here are a few things that the Roy family has done to build our family:

1) Limit TV time.
Yeah, we actually play board games; and it’s unbelievable the things you learn when you just sit with your kids.

2) Limit gaming time.
It’s tough, but I jump in with them sometimes, just to make it more fun and so my son can rack up kills in HALO because I’m not very good.

3) Pray simple prayers over your children every night.
“God, let him/her grow in patience, in wisdom, in confidence and in relationship with You.” It’s OK if it’s the same prayer every time. They’ll remember it when they are struggling.

4) Ignore your phone occasionally or (Gasp!) turn it off when you walk in the door.
The truth is that anyone who needs to get to me can call my wife’s phone if it’s an emergency, and if they don’t have that number, they can wait.

5) Eat together.
Eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at the kitchen table if at all possible. Conversation generally follows.

6) Apologize often, and forgive often.
We’re not perfect, but we’re not meant to be perfect, and that’s alright with the Roys. The more imperfect we are, the more we get to teach our children about God’s grace and mercy and the way it’s building our character to be more like His.

Jason Roy is the frontman for pop/rock award-winning band Building 429. The group recently achieved one million singles in career singles. Moreover, the band’s brand-new radio single, “Impossible,” just broke a radio record with an astounding 95 stations adding the single immediately. The track is the first cut from Building 429’s upcoming studio album slated to release Sept. 25.